Monday, November 22, 2010

Natural Mommy

Does being a mom just come natural to some people?
Is being a mom hard for everyone and some people just choose not to share their hard times?

Sometimes I ponder these questions as I am going through the day taking care of my kids.  I think back about all the things I could of or should have done better.  Maybe I should have allowed Lightening to try feeding himself breakfast or get dressed on his own.  Then, I think back on the bad and wish I could have it to do over.  I wish I had kept calm and not yelled at Lightening.  Some moms seem so comfortable in their role while others show signs of "wear and tear" or tough times.  The moms I see that are comfortable in their roles - while I sometimes struggle - makes me think: Are they just a natural at being a mommy and I'm not?

One woman in particular that I take a lot of advice from seems so natural being a mom.  Of course, this may be because she has been a mom for 20 years.  Yet, it seems like she had tons of answers even when she started out on her motherhood journey.  She seems to have just known how to take care of her kids, explain things to them, and handle all their behaviors.  Sometimes I wish all that wisdom could be transferred to me through a mind meld or something.  Think how amazing mothers would be if we could actually do that.  It would save a lot of stress, heartache, second guessing and trips to the doctor.

I have two little boys, and I still feel inexperienced and overwhelmed sometimes.  I think about how ignorant I still am about being a mom and sometimes a wife.  How can I do what's best for my family when I already feel overwhelmed and I am taking "shortcuts" now?  Am I teaching my children the right things?  Could I be rewarding my kids for the wrong things and actually be reinforcing that behavior?  It's very tiring to have these questions go around and around in my head, but sometimes those doubts just won't stop.

So, I forcefully tell myself to "Stop It!"  Life is a continuous learning process and you can't have all the answers at once.  You figure out things that work best for you.  If you have to give your kids crackers from the store instead of making them on your own, then that's what you have to do.  Giving your kids a cookie occasionally won't hurt, either.  If you want to use disposable diapers instead of cloth, then go for it.

Then, my questions still pop up, are their people that were naturally born to be amazing moms?  I guess it is kind of a question of nature versus nurture, and I was a psychology major.

What do you think?


MandyOh said...

I don't think there's anything 'natural' about parenting. About loving and nurturing a child, yes- there is an instinct. But parenting itself is learned through experience, education, and otj training! I am a work-in-process... aren't we all?!

Anonymous said...

Yes, I think we need to remember that EVERY parent struggles and no parent is perfect.

Anonymous said...

If you stick with it, you will get it done.


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